To Raise and Love a Black Child


Thank you The Atlantic

Jordan & Mom

Last Friday, I called Jordan Davis’s mother Lucia McBath. It’s been almost two years since her son was murdered by a man who took offense to his music. The murderer was Michael Dunn. After shooting the boy, Dunn drove to a motel with his girlfriend. He ordered pizza. He mixed a few cocktails. Then, the next day, he turned himself in and claimed that he was defending himself against a shotgun-wielding Davis. No shotgun was ever found. In his first trial, Dunn was convicted of attempted murder, for shooting—unjustifiably—at Davis’s friends. He was not convicted of murdering Jordan Davis after the jury deadlocked. The state of Florida retried the case, and this time convicted Dunn of first-degree murder.

McBath and I had talked twice before and each time I’d found her to be a woman of direct and open feeling. The first time we talked she cried as she recounted the life of her lost son. The second time she stood before my son and insisted that he mattered, though all the powers of the world might tell him different. With wild theories of phantom shotguns now banished, I wanted to know how McBath felt and how she was filling the yawning space left by her departed son.

“I guess I’m speechless,” she said. “Excited. Happy. It feels like the weight of the world has been lifted. But I definitely am waffling back and forth. I was elated about justice for Jordan, but I would prefer to have him here, thriving and growing. I wish that was my reality, but in light of everything this is the best I can get.”

She told me that she’d taken the energy that she’d once put into child-rearing and given herself over to activism. She has set up a scholarship fund in her son’s name. She is working with President Obama’s My Brother’s Keeper initiative.

“I’ve been working with them because my heart is for our people,” she said, speaking of My Brother’s Keeper. “My heart is for everyone, but I know that there is a lot of work that has to be done for my own people.”

McBath spoke about the need to inculcate our young with certain values and morals. But I knew that she had taught those same values and morals to her son. And they had not saved him.

“It’s very difficult to know that it doesn’t matter what morals you instill in your children,” she said. “That there are certain people who will never see the value and known who they are.”

Davis hailed from the striving class of America. He grew up with all the comforts and possibilities that black people associate with Atlanta, where he was raised, and which Americans at large associate with middle-class life. And yet African Americans raised in such circumstances understand that in so many ways they are not that far removed from the block. Many of them are just a generation away, and they still have cousins, brothers, and uncles struggling. Their country cannot see this complexity, and thinks of the entire mass as the undeserving poor—which is to say, in the language of our country, criminal.

“For these people, The Cosby Show was just amusement,” McBath said. “They don’t know that in the black community the Cosbys exist. They don’t know that we educate our children, we train up our children, we have fathers, nurturing, and supporting. We have that. But that’s the America that a lot of people don’t know exists, and they don’t know because they don’t want to see it.”

But American blindness had not dissuaded her, and when I asked about the path forward she spoke mostly (like the president she supports) of communal self-improvement. “We’ve become apathetic and comfortable, thinking we have arrived,” she said. “A lot of us know we have an African-American president, but they don’t know how he got there. They don’t know what our forefathers did to get him there. And you can’t fault our children. Shame on us, the parents. Shame on us.”

In this I heard the essential problem of 21st-century black philosophy. Black people are a minority in the country they built. The legacy of that building has remanded them to the basement of America. There are only two conscious ways to escape the basement: (1) Appeal to the magnanimity of white people. (2) Become super-human. The first option is degrading and demoralizing, in that concedes the possibility of not being human. Whatever can be said of the nonviolent protests of the ’60s, they rejected a right that Americans cherish in all their myths and histories: the right of self-defense. The appeal essentially says, “We will be human when you allow it.”

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